Need somewhere to talk and document my progress, so I'm blogging here now. Recently got a crude traditional animation setup going, which is good, because drawing digitally hasn't felt right recently. Haven't drawn much throughout the months recently, but my body is pushing me back into the thick of things, as if by a will outside of my own mind. Everything I've cultivated has sprung to life and I have no choice but to move on instinct.

To preface, I hate making art for others, unless as tribute to a fictional world they enjoy. As such, when my family asks me to make them art, I can't help but force it. I burn, because my only art is that which realizes itself in front of me. It feels superficial, which is troublesome when dealing with blurred deadlines and high expectations. Add onto that time and financial problems, and you get trouble. So, for quite some time - years, I imagine - I stopped seriously going at art as I once had.

I want to change that, and though my previous promises to myself have always fallen flat, I want change dearly. I'm tired of consumption. I want to find that drive again and churn out artwork that I'm proud of. The idea of creation on a fundamental level always draws me right back. It's my soul. To do that and live comfortably is my goal. Success, I hope, will be a byproduct.

Venting aside, I hate not sharing all the concept and storyboarding work I do, but I want to maintain this barrier until a final product is realized. That's just one of my troublesome mental blocks. This is a compromise I'm forcing myself to make: a small little clip of a bigger concept mood board / design adventure. It's a redesign for a very short animation test I'm going to make soon in order to ensure my traditional workflow is all good between hardware, software, and sanity. The full image is the first of my own that actually creeps me out a little, so I really do want to complete the animation, though translating the concept faithfully will take some experimentation and bravado.